Lauren♥Alyssa

I keep thinking to myself how it's not fair that I have to lay here and cry alone every night. But then I realize that this was all my doing, and I could have very easily prevented this from happening. I hate myself for it. I beat myself up for it everyday. It kills me everytime I have to see you. I think about you nonstop. You never leave my head. You're always there. And it hurts so much. Every thought of you just feels like a stab in my heart. Every comment made by people that know so much more than me. It kills me. I tell myself over and over that I deserve better than you. But I've never had better than you. And I honestly don't believe I'll find anyone near as good as you. I can't let go. You made me feel so loved and appreciated. And now I feel completely alone. I feel like no one understands. I think back and feel stupid for not realizing. I feel stupid for making some of the comments that I made two weeks ago. I know it wasn't stupid. But I should've realized that something wasn't right. But I didn't bother with it. I left it alone. And this is where it left me. Completely alone.