I dunno.

Kjtearbvcvgbhukml.

I don't know what to think about today. I'm happy, but I'm not.
Ugh, I don't even know why I try. At least I eneded it rather nicely with a dear friend. :) (Althoughhh, it's still not over. :[ )Either way, I would have ended it with a smile. I would have liked to end it with a friend that I haven't been able to see in what seems like too long. But, that didn't happen. :/
I swear my head is permanently fucked up. UGH. :( At times like this, I just want to lay with a friend. And not speak a word of this. Just lay there. Watch some episodes of Friends, perhaps? :P Oh, I miss you right now. I don't know how you do it, but you never fail to distract me.

UGH. I absolutely despise these situations where I don't know what to do. Or when I feel like there is nothing I can do. Or I can't make up my mind what I want. :(
It sucks. :(

On a positive note, Dani is coming home on Friday. :) She'll definitely be distracting me through this holiday. I love my sister. :) I wouldn't make it through even half this shit without her. I just wish my brother could be here too. :/

So, I'm listening to music right now, the Googoo Dolls, to be exact. It seems music has really been helping me, too. It always has. I'm stumbling across a lot of songs that seem to describe what's going on in my head perfectly.

Googoo Dolls; Let Love In:

"I wish
Wishing for you to find your way
And I'll hold on for all you need
That's all we need to say
I'll take my chances while
You take your time with
This game you play
But I can't control your soul
You need to let me know
You leaving or you gonna stay"

Googoo Dolls; Iris:

"And I'd give up forever to touch you
'Cause I know that you feel me somehow
You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be
And I don't want to go home right now

And all I can taste is this moment
And all I can breathe is your life
'Cause sooner or later it's over
I just don't want to miss you tonight

And I don't want the world to see me
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am

And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming
Or the moment of truth in your lies
When everything feels like the movies
Yeah you bleed just to know you're alive

And I don't want the world to see me
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am"

:/